


Reason To Live

by Icarukoko



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29230995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarukoko/pseuds/Icarukoko
Summary: Killua and Gon are classmates, but they've never interacted before this.Killua was standing on top of the rail on the school rooftop, his final act just moments away. But someone had the nerve to pull him down.Gon had gone up to the roof to smoke, but when he saw the boy's body start leaning, he ran faster than he had ever gone before. He caught the boy just as he was falling and pulled him back to safety. Gon says that there's no reason to kill yourself, there's always something better waiting for you."Oh yeah? Give me one reason to keep living."My 21st storyTRIGGER WARNING:⚠️ Suicide attempts⚠️ Cutting⚠️ Mentions Of Rape⚠️ Eventual Smut⚠️ Death⚠️ Abuse
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer & Kurapika
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. The Raven Haired Boy

"Oh yeah?" Killua scoffs. "You don't know me. Give me one reason. One reason I should continue this pathetic existence." 

Gon pauses, thinking. Killua scoffs again, turning back to the rail that separates him from the 100-foot plunge. "I can't think of anything..." Gon says. 

"That's what I thought." Killua hoists himself over the rail. "Thanks for trying though. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me." 

Just as he's about to jump, Gon pulls him down once again. 

"Okay what the hell??!" Killua's irritated now. 

"Me!" 

Killua blinks. "What?" 

"The one reason for you to keep living." Gon says again, grinning. "Me!" 

Killua blushes. "What the hell? We don't even know eachother." 

"Then let's get to know eachother." Gon says. "Let me convince you to keep on living!" 

Killua pauses. There's no way he's dying today, Gon will make sure of it. Killua sighs in defeat. "Fine." 

Gon's grin widens. "Great!" 

Killua scoffs. Who the hell is this boy? 

-Reason #1: The Raven Haired Boy- 

Killua gets home. He heads to his room immediately. He doesn't want to face any of his family. He reaches into one of the drawers in his dresser and pulls out a pocket knife. He presses it to his already scarred wrist. He had been doing it wrong this whole time, but he finally figured out the right way to do it. To guarantee death. 

But he stops. 

"The one reason for you to keep living, Me! Let's get to know eachother. Let me convince you to keep on living!" 

Killua scoffs. He can't already be suddenly not suicidal anymore just because of the grin of one boy that was practically a stranger. He puts the blade away, and falls face-first on his bed. 

He thinks of Gon's smile. The fact that a total stranger wants to go through all this trouble just so he doesn't throw away his godforsaken life. The feeling of Gon's arms around him. 

Killua smiles to himself. He hasn't smiled in so long. For once, he looks forward to the possibilities that the word 'tomorrow' holds. 

Such a seemingly small action Gon took affected Killua enough to prolong his life by another day. 

No one has ever cared about him like that. Of course, his family wants him to live. But only because of with Killua can do for them. Their 'love' is what got Killua down this road in the first place. Everything else just added to it. 

Killua fades into sleep, with hope for tomorrow. 

\- The Next Day - 

(Killua's POV) 

I'm walking to school when someone comes up behind me. Instinctively, I turn around ready to jab them straight in the throat. But it's Gon. 

"Woah Woah Woah!" Gon chuckles nervously. 

I blush. "S-sorry." 

"It's no problem." Gon smiles. "I didn't know you walk to school." 

"Yeah. Same." 

"Do you always take this route?" 

"Mhm." 

"Wow!" Gon exclaims. "Me too! I never noticed." He chuckles. "But hey! That means we can walk to school together from now on." 

I look at him, he's so... happy. All the time. I can't fathom it. He's like this shining light in the darkness that shrouds me. 

"Y'know..." Gon starts. "I was kinda worried." 

"Hm?" 

"Well.. when we went our separate ways I kept freaking out about you going home and... well..." Gon doesn't say it, but I know what he means. 

"I almost did." I tell him the truth. His eyes widen and he looks at me with worry and concern. That look is a guilty pleasure of mine. It means someone cares. "But I didn't." 

Gon hesitates. "Why?" 

I smile at him, genuine. "Because of you." I blush. 

Gon stares at me for a moment. Crap- was that too- 

"Really?" Gon smiles slightly. "Because of me?" I nod at him. He grins widely, and grabs me. I tense up. He pulls me into a hug and I relax. "That's great!" 

(Gon's POV) 

I helped Killua continue living. Even if it's just one day. All I have to do is do it everyday. And I'm fully prepared to do just that. I'll make him see that someone cares. That he's worth being kept alive. Everyday, I'll make sure he knows that there's a reason to live.


	2. Chapter 2

The lunch bell rings. I pack up my books and head to my locker to store them during lunch period. I do so and grab my packed lunch, heading to the rooftop and ignoring the taunts and snickers I gather on the way. 

While on my way, I get pulled aside by none other than Gon. "Y-you're not going to the roof, are you?" He asks with fear in his eyes. 

"Relax. I always eat up there." I give him a weak smile. 

Gon pauses. "Not anymore." He grins. "You can sit with me!" 

I think about it. Gon's pretty popular, he probably has a ton of people that sit with him. I don't like crowded spaces. "I don't know..." 

"Come on!" Gon tugs me by the arm. He didn't grab my wrist, another thoughtful thing he does that he probably doesn't see as a big deal. 

But it is to me. 

I smile to myself, accepting defeat yet again. "Alright, you win." I mutter. Gon heard me, though. He leads me to the lunch room. He sits me at a table and places himself beside me. There's many people at this table, but I hardly notice anyone but Gon. 

"Gon, who's this?" A blonde boy(?) asks, referring to me. 

"This is Killua!" Gon tells the table. 

"You mean the-" the blonde boy elbows the black haired old man that was speaking in the ribs. I know what he was about to say, though. 

The faggot. The drug dealer. The felon. The serial killer. The most likely to end up behind bars. The rapist. 

I've heard them all. "Most Likely To End Up Behind Bars" is correct. "Murderer" is correct. "Faggot" is correct. The others? Not so much. 

One girl at the table glares at me. I know who she is. She's Retz. 

"I'm Kurapika. This idiot here is Leorio." The blonde points at the old man next to him. I nod at them. 

"Hi." I look at Gon, he's chatting with Retz. 

"No way are you-" Leorio is elbowed by Kurapika again. And again, I know what he was going to say. I look away from Gon, and turn to Kurapika. He seems like a decent person. 

"What year are you in?" I ask him. 

"I'm a junior." Kurapika smiles. "Are you a freshman like Gon?" 

"Yeah." I confirm. "I am." 

I overhear Retz say my name, followed by Gon saying she's wrong about something. I get tapped on the knee, and someone passes me a note. I don't know who. It reads: 

Stay away from Gon, fag. Or you'll regret it. We'll make your life a living hell. Gon will hate you by the end of the month if you don't back off. We'll make sure of it. 

The note shakes me up quite a bit. But I don't let it show. I crumple the paper up and shoot it 30 feet away and it lands perfectly into the trash can. Kurapika, Leorio, and a few others saw. 

"Killer aim, man!" A buff brunette boy smirks at me. "You on a team?" 

"No. And I never will be." I tell him. 

"I'm Zushi, if you change your mind let me know." He smiles. I nod at him. 

My life is already a living hell. I don't want it to get any worse. But I'm not staying away from Gon. But I don't want him to hate me, either. 

"Gon! You're being unreasonable!" Retz shouts. Gon stands, and looks at me. 

"Retz and I need to go talk. We'll be back soon." Gon tells everyone. Retz gets up, and follows him to a corner of the room so they can talk more privately. 

"Ooh trouble in paradise?" A few girls gossip. I along with several others watch Gon and Retz as they argue about something. 

Retz waves her arms around a bit, whisper-yelling at him. He makes a few gestures himself, whisper-yelling back. They both come back unhappy. Retz glances at me and glares. 

Gon's not happy at all. He angrily eats his lunch before the bell rings, telling us it's time to return to our classes. I get up, and make way towards my locker to retrieve my books. 

Retz and a few of her clones come up to me. "Why the hell did you throw the note away like that?" She asks. 

"You're kidding, right?" I scoff. 

She just glares at me. "I mean it. You're life will be hell from now on." 

"You're a bit late to the party with that one." I scoff. 

"You don't know hell until you've seen Retz's wrath." One of the clones puts a hand on her hips. 

Retz smirks. "You're obviously fond of Gon..." 

I freeze up, only confirming her suspicion. 

"It'd be so easy to make him hate someone like you." Retz takes a step towards me. "Too easy." 

-Reason #2: Wiping That Smirk Off Of Retz's Bitchy Eye-sore Of A Face- 

The school day comes to a close, and Gon runs up to me as I'm leaving. "Let's walk together!" He chirps. 

I shrug. "Okay." 

We walk side by side. "Nee, Killua. If Retz ever talks to you, ignore her." He tells me. 

"Actually she confronted me at my locker after lunch." I tell him. 

"She what?" 

"She told me she'd make my life living hell if I don't stay away from you." I continue. 

"Kil-" 

"Lucky for us, my life already is. So she has nothing on me." I shrug, smirking at him. Gon doesn't seem to like that answer. "So don't worry." 

Gon leaves it at that thankfully. I don't want him to know how much that encounter had shaken me up. He already worries about me too much. I don't want to be any more of a burden than I already am.


	3. Chapter 3

Gon's made every effort there is to be close to Killua, to get to know him. And he continues to every chance he gets. Killua thinks he's going a bit overboard, but that's not to say he doesn't like it. 

"Oh, what's your favorite flavor of ice cream?" Gon asks. 

"..." Killua pauses, thinking his taste is too cliche. "Vanilla." 

Gon pauses. "Huh." He shrugs. "Nice, every single store or ice cream truck definitely has it, so you never have to worry about them not having it!" 

Killua looks at Gon weirdly. "I guess?" 

"My favorite is mint chocolate chip." Gon informs him. "Do you want to get ice cream after school today?" 

Killua thinks for a moment. His mother wouldn't like it if he did. But he was going to kill himself just a few days ago, does it really matter what she thinks? What's the worst she could do that he hasn't done to himself? 

Killua grins. "Sounds great." 

Gon's eyes widen. He'd never seen Killua smile. His grin was confident, assertive, and attractive. Gon loves it, and wishes to see all the different types of smiles Killua is capable of. 

"Awesome!" Gon grins. 

-After School- 

Gon and Killua sit at a water fountain in a park, eating their ice cream. It's quiet. The water trickles behind them, the leaves of the trees rustle lightly, the birds chirp, and some kids play a ways away. 

Killua sneaks glances at Gon, wondering what's on his mind. Gon's not usually quiet, and his facial expression is that of someone who's in deep thought. 

"Ah." Gon says, snapping Killua out of a trance he didn't know he was in. "You've got ice cream on the side of your lips. Right here." 

Gon points to his own lips. Killua moves his tongue around, trying to find it. 

"No no, not there." Gon giggles. He takes his thumb and brushes it against Killua's lip. Gon licks the ice cream off of his thumb. "There you go." 

Killua blushes. "Uh- thanks." 

Gon grins. "Yup, no problem." 

Killua hesitates. "Uhm, Gon?" 

"Yeah?" Gon answers almost too quickly. 

"Are you and Retz... a thing??" 

Gon's lips form a tight line. "That's, uh... complicated. She certainly thinks we are, at least." He sighs. 

Killua hopes she's the only one. "And you?" 

"Haha..." Gon laughs nervously. "I don't... Uhm... I'm not exactly... heh... well... how do I say this..." 

Killua raises an eyebrow. 

"Uh, no. I'm not interested in her that way... Uhm... but, well... haha..." Gon stutters. "I-I-I-I-I don't swing that way." 

Killua blinks. And then blinks again. Did he hear that correctly? Is Gon gay? No way... 

Gon takes in a deep breath and exhales. "Whew! You're actually the first person I've told that to! Hahaha! Haha..." 

Killua can't believe his luck. 

"Killua? You okay?" 

Gon's close proximity snaps Killua out of it. "Y-yeah! I'm fine!" 

"Ha, you had me worried there, haha..." Gon rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." 

"No! You didn't- not at all!" Killua panics. 

Gon chuckles. "That's good to know." 

\- Later - 

Killua gets an earful from his mother when he returns home, and is confined to his room. Doesn't matter, I would have stayed in here all day anyways. He lays in bed, turning over. 

Closing his eyes, he drifts into sleep. 

. 

Killua hears something next to him, and turns his head to see Gon laying next to him. Gon's going off about something, laughing and smiling as he always does. Killua can't understand a word he's saying, but he doesn't have to. All he needs is to see Gon's smile. 

Gon turns to him, a big grin plastered on his face. He continues talking. Killua smiles, nodding as if he could hear the words coming out of Gon's mouth. Gon starts giggling about something, making Killua giggle in return. 

Gon stops talking, and just looks at Killua. Smiling as always. Their faces are a mere inch apart. 

Killua's heart skips a beat or two. 

Gon's innocent smile turns into a grin after he kisses Killua lightly on the nose. Killua's eyes widen, and he covers his face as it flushes red. Gon laughs, obviously teasing Killua even though Killua can't hear what he's saying. 

Gon tackles Killua, tickling him. Killua squirms and kicks, cracking up and trying to escape. Gon giggles, not letting him go anywhere. 

They end up in a very compromising position. They're face to face. Killua's leg is hoisted up on Gon's shoulder, he had tried to kick Gon before in the face but Gon caught his leg and held it prisoner. Gon's on top of Killua. They're both still laughing and neither has noticed the position they're in. 

Killua's the first to realize. His face flushes bright red, making Gon raise his eyebrow. Then Gon understands. But he doesn't make any effort to change their position. 

He just smirks. 

Gon slides Killua's leg down to rest in the crook of his elbow, and bends down to kiss Killua. On the lips this time. 

Killua squeaks, but doesn't push him away. In fact, he kisses back. Killua wraps his arms around Gon's neck and closes his eyes, relishing in the sweet kiss. 

. 

The following was so shocking that it wakes Killua up from the crazy dream. Well, wet dream to be precise. 

Killua cups his face in his hands, not believing what just went through his mind. And not because it was a wet dream. 

Because it was a dream. 

Killua had never dreamt before. 

Of anything. 

Reason #3: Dreams


	4. Chapter 4

Killua braces himself as he walks to the intersection that he usually meets Gon at every morning on their way to school. Stay calm. He tells himself, trying not to think of the dream.

When a familiar grin enters his field of vision, Killua understands the saying 'easier said than done'. His heart beats rapidly as Gon gets closer.

"Killua! Good morning!" Gon laughs, catching up.

"G- good morning." Killua blushes, smiling a little.

Gon's cheeks gain a tint of pink. "I really like it when you smile." He says seriously, smiling lightly and nudging Killua. "You should do it more often."

Killua flushes red. "Wha-?! Baka!"

Gon laughs, ruffling Killua's hair. Killua pouts, blushing ferociously.

(At school after they part ways to find their lockers)

Killua puts his backpack in his locker. When he closes it, he's suddenly face to face with Retz.

"Seems like you didn't heed my warning." Retz crosses her arms.

Killua gulps. "I don't care-"

"But you do." She glares. "Just know this. Hell starts today. And I'm Satan."

Hell isn't a time, retard. It's a place. It doesn't 'start'. Killua thinks to himself, mentally rolling his eyes.

Retz walks away. Killua sighs, walking to first period. Gon waves at him from his seat in the front row. Killua blushes a little, waving back as he walks to his own seat in the back.

\-----(×^×)-----

The lunchbell rings, and Gon gets up to meet Killua in his classroom. But when he gets there, Killua's gone.

No no no... he didn't. Did he?

Gon panics, and runs up the stairs leading to the roof. He bursts through the door, but again he doesn't see Killua. He runs over to the edge, gazing down. He searches every side of the edge, making sure Killua didn't jump. He didn't.

Gon sighs in relief. Killua must've gone to the bathroom or something. He walks back down the stairs and goes to lunch.

Lunch period ends and Killua never showed up. Gon was really worried. He goes to his next class, one that he shares with Killua. When he goes in he sees the white haired boy laying his head on his desk with his hoodie up. Gon sighs in relief.

"Hey, uh.. where were you during lunch?" Gon asks. He doesn't get a response. Killua doesn't even flinch. "Erm, Killua..?"

Gon taps Killua on the shoulder. Killua jumps, and nearly topples over in his chair. Gon stares at Killua, who's got a newly split lip and dried blood under his nose and bangs.

That wasn't there this morning.

"Who- what?!" Gon cups Killua's face with his hands, examining the injuries. "What happened?"

Killua pushes Gon away gently. "I'm fine. Nothing I couldn't handle. Don't worry about me so much."

Gon narrows his eyes. "Was it one of Retz's goons?"

"No Gon." Killua sighs. "I said don't worry about it, geez."

"Too bad." Gon crosses his arms, leaning on his left hip. "I-"

Students all pile in when the bell rings again, signifying that anyone not in class already is tardy. Gon's lips form a tight line and he turns back to Killua. Gon sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sorry, but I'm going to worry about you no matter what." Gon says before walking to his seat in the middle of the classroom. Killua lays his face back down on his desk.

\- After School -

"Killua! Wait up!" Gon has to sprint to catch up to Killua on their way home. Killua doesn't stop walking, though. Gon takes a moment to catch his breath when he finally reaches the pale boy. "What is up with you today?"

"What are you talking about?" Killua raises an eyebrow and scoffs.

"Seriously? You've hardly talked all day. You're injured but won't tell me what happened. You didn't wait up for me so we can walk home together. Shall I go on?" Gon raises his own eyebrow in return.

Killua shrugs, looking away. "In case you didn't know, this is what I'm usually like. Deal with it."

Gon just stares. "Uhm. No. This is completely different from what you're usually like."

"You're talking about how we "bonded" and I opened up to you?" Killua looks at Gon and scoffs. "That's what's not normal. Moment of weakness and all that shit. We've only really known eachother for a few days, Gon. It's normal for me to go an entire day without saying a word to anyone. It's normal for me to get a bit beat up. It's not normal for me to be so close with someone."

Gon looks at Killua incredulously. "Well now that I'm here, that's all going to change."

"You really think you can just walk into my life and change everything?!" Killua yells.

Gon glares. "Well you hate your life anyways! Why the fuck should you care if I change it?!"

"You have no right-!"

"And you have no right to kill yourself! I'm trying to help you, Damnit!"

"I never asked for your help!"

"Would you just tell me what happened?! What the hell is up with you?!"

"What's up with me?! Well maybe I'm mad because some stranger pretends to give a shit! Or that my own family only cares about me because of what I can do for them! Or maybe it's the fact that everyone hates me for being a rich, 'spoiled', rude faggot! Or maybe what's really so wrong with me is that I'm the only one that mourned my sister when she killed herself last year because of my family!" Killua screams, tears pouring down his face.

Gon's eyes widen. He had no idea. Now it makes complete sense why he had wanted to end his life.

"Kil-"

"Don't. Stop pretending to care about me." Killua glares, turning away from Gon. He keeps walking, pulling his hood over his head. "I don't want to hear it."

Gon tries to walk next to him, but every time he gets close Killua walks just fast enough to get away from him.

What happened? Gon wonders. He thought Killua understood how much he cares about him. I guess I should've made it more obvious. But how?

Little does Gon know, nothing could possibly convince Killua that Gon genuinely cares. At least, not at the moment. No one has ever cared for him unless it was for their own personal gain. The fact that Gon is so kind only makes him untrustworthy in Killua's opinion. Not to mention, the events of that day convinced Killua that having friends was nothing but a waste of time. That caring is a waste of time. That living is a waste of time.

That Killua, is a waste of time.

Killua gets home, going straight to his room. But he's stopped by his mother. "Killua. There's a new suitor we'd like you to meet."

Killua rolls his eyes, following his mother. After what those guys did to him today, this is the last thing he needs. But he wills himself to put on a fake smile. She leads him to the dining hall where he sees a boy. That's new. Killua's eyes widen. His parents always tried to convince him that he'd like girls if he just gave them a try.

Never once have they brought him a male suitor.

"Killua, this is Ikalgo Chimaera. One of the younger sons of a very prestigious family. His parents own NGL Imports and Exports." Silva explains.

Killua gives Ikalgo a once over. He's got bright red hair, big eyes, and a kind face.

"Show him around and get to know eachother." Kikyo smiles.

Killua sighs. "Follow me."

Ikalgo nods, following Killua out of the dining hall. Killua leads him outside into the large garden.

"Uhm, sorry, but I'm not interested in being in a relationship with you." Killua tells Ikalgo when he's sure no one is listening.

Ikalgo's eyes widen. "OH THANK GOD!!"

Killua whips his head in Ikalgo's direction, eyes wide in surprise. "What??"

"Sorry, I'm aromantic." Ikalgo chuckles. "Though my parents don't understand what that means, haha."

Killua grins. "Oh, that makes things easier, then."

"Whew, yeah. I was really worried." Ikalgo grins. "My parents thought that if I just met the right person, I'd be able to fall in love. Ugh."

"I know right?" Killua laughs. "My parents kept telling me I'd fall for a girl if I gave them a try. This is actually the first time they brought me a guy. That's why I was so surprised earlier."

"Oof, sorry." Ikalgo laughs.

"No problem. I'm definitely not looking for a relationship right now." Killua shrugs, still smiling.

"Ooh? That sounds like you have a specific someone you're waiting for." Ikalgo grins.

"Aha..." Killua looks down. "Uhm. I don't know about that."

Ikalgo gives him a knowing nod. "Ah. I see how it is."

They spend another two or three hours chatting and laughing. "Man, you're a pretty cool guy. Could I get your number?" Killua asks.

"We went over this. Aro." Ikalgo deadpans.

Killua laughs. "So that we could keep in touch! As friends!"

Ikalgo grins. "I know, I was teasing you. Give me your phone."

They exchange numbers, and Killua gets an idea. "Lightbulb."

Ikalgo tilts his head. "What??"

"I've got a way for us both to solve our parental problems!" Killua pats him on the back. "Let's tell them we're going to start dating!"

Ikalgo grins. "Then they'll get off of our backs about suitors!"

Killua's mother calls them inside, and the two boys exchange nods. They run up to her, still grinning. "How'd it go?" She asks.

"Uhm.. well.." Killua feigns a blush.

"We're hoping to start dating." Ikalgo links arms with Killua. "I-if that's okay with you..?"

Kikyo's face brightens up. "Silva darling!!!" She calls her husband.

"What is it?" Silva asks when he arrives.

"Killua's finally found a suitor he likes!" Kikyo grins. "Of course it's okay with us, boys! I can't wait to get to know you, Ikalgo!"

Ikalgo and Killua chuckle nervously.

"But no funny business." Silva warns.

"Of course, sir." Ikalgo bows his head.

Silva smiles. "Your ride is waiting, Ikalgo. It's time for you to head home."

Ikalgo nods, and turns to Killua. "It was really nice meeting you, Killua. I've never met someone like me before."

Killua nods, smiling. "You too."

Reason #4: A New Friend


	5. Love

Gon didn't sleep at all the previous night. He rises from bed, barely noticeable dark circles under his eyes. He groans, willing himself to get up and change.

He gets into his outfit for the day and heads downstairs to get a piece of toast before leaving.

Gon hopes to see Killua, but thinks it's not likely after the events of yesterday. Gon worries that Killua did something to himself. And he doesn't have Killua's address to check up on him. Gon's literally worried sick.

Nevertheless, he crosses paths with Killua at the intersection. They lock eyes, but Killua looks away.

Gon runs up to him and grabs him by the shoulder. "What the hell?!" Killua glares as Gon pulls him into an alley.

Gon pins him against the brick wall. Killua now notices the dark circles under Gon's pleading eyes. "Please." Gon's voice cracks. "Talk to me."

Killua can't look at Gon's expression. It pains him. "Why do you care about me?" Killua asks.

"Why do I care?" Gon sighs. "At first, I cared because I care about everyone. And ever since I lost a friend to suicide I've made it a personal mission to help everyone I can."

Killua's eyes widen. He didn't expect that.

"But after getting to know you, I care about you because.. well... I see you as a friend. And not like the many fake friends I've gathered. I mean, an actual friend. Someone I can talk to, someone who can talk to me." Gon's eyes plead Killua to look at him.

Killua sighs, still not looking at him. "Yesterday, I... someone found out about my sister. That she was trans, and she had killed herself because my family wasn't accepting of her and she was bullied at school constantly. They were mocking her. Saying she was a spoiled brat that just wanted attention. Misgendering her on purpose. It pissed me off and I hit one of them." He confesses.

Gon stares in disbelief, his own anger building up rapidly.

"And after beating me they..." Killua holds himself, shaking.

"They what?" Gon asks.

Killua squeezes his eyes shut, trembling. "Th-they took my c-clothes off... and..." Tears start pouring down his cheeks. Gon's eyes widen.

Gon realizes the position he's holding Killua in could be scaring him due to what those guys did to him. He quickly lets Killua go and pulls him into a hug.

Killua's eyes open in shock, but he closes them again and hugs Gon back, sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm sorry." Gon whispers. "I'm so sorry."

Killua nods, still crying into Gon's shirt. Gon wants to ask who did it so he can pummel them into the ground, but he doesn't want Killua to have to think about it. Instead he runs his hands through Killua's hair and provides the comfort he needs. They'll talk about it later.

Killua sinks into Gon, relishing in their closeness. His time denying the feelings he has for Gon is over. He's fully accepted it.

They let go of eachother, and Gon straightens up his shirt. Gon grabs hold of Killua's hands. "Please. Talk to me from now on, okay. I- I really care about you..."

Killua blushes. "Okay." He whispers.

Gon smiles sweetly, and they walk out of the alley. Gon is still holding Killua's hand, mindful of the few scars that trail up to his palm.

Gon probably doesn't think much of it. But Killua sure does. Gon's hand feels so warm in contrast to Killua's cold palms. Killua decides to risk it and wrap his free arm around Gon's arm, leaning on his shoulder as they walk. Gon doesn't mind, which is a good sign to Killua.

Gon's gay. Killua reminds himself suddenly, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He ignores the sudden reminder.

They get to school and Killua sees that people immediately take notice of the way he's clinging onto Gon. People whisper, and Killua feels like crawling into a hole and dying. It's one thing if people gossip about Killua. But Killua feels terrible that they're gossiping about Gon now, too. Because of him.

Killua tries to hide behind Gon's arm, unsuccessful. Gon glares at anyone he catches whispering on their way to Killua's locker.

He's acting like a protective boyfriend. Killua blushes at the thought.

After Killua puts his bag away and gets what he needs for first period, the two head to Gon's locker together. On the way, they encounter Retz.

Retz has her arms crossed, and she glares at Killua. Killua gulps.

Gon opens his locker, putting his bag inside. "What do you want, Retz?" Gon grabs his supplies for first period.

"Babe. I thought we talked about... whatever this is." Retz gestures to Killua.

"Yeah. We did." Gon's still holding Killua's hand. "And I told you. You can't dictate my life for me. Nobody can. There's no reason for you to be an exception. And don't call me babe."

Retz holds her glare. "Why shouldn't I? We're practically together. Everyone knows it. And that's reason enough for me to be an exception."

"We're not together. We never were." Gon glares back. "Now stop bothering us."

"Oh yeah? Would you still be so protective of him if he were a fag?" Retz grins, placing her hands on her hips.

Gon's blood is practically boiling with anger. "Don't use that word. Of course I'd still care about him if he were gay. I'm not a homophobic asshole unlike you and everyone else in this school."

Retz scowls. "Would you still feel that way if the one he were gay for is-"

"That's enough!" Killua yells. "Would you shut up already?!"

Both Retz and Gon are taken aback by Killua's sudden outburst. Retz cackles. "No I'm not finished-"

"Yes. Yes you are." Gon slams his locker shut and pushes past her, Killua trying to keep up without their hands detaching.

Killua's relieved that they had left before she could finish telling Gon about his feelings for him. Maybe Gon wouldn't have reacted so badly. Maybe he'd feel the same way. But Killua doesn't want to risk it quite yet.

They part ways for first period, neither wanting to let the other go. Killua dreads walking into class like he does everyday, but as per usual he ignores himself and walks in. He grabs his seat, always in the back row. Classmates snicker and gossip, but Killua doesn't pay them any mind.

His head space is already quite occupied with Gon at the moment anyways.

I'm... in love. I'm really in love. Who knew that just surviving an extra week would cause me to meet... the one?

Reason #5: Love


End file.
